The Hair Struggle

The Struggle

Between Cydney’s mother and I Cydney was bound to have a head FULL of thick hair. We just knew it. Even while pregnant we knew that and her mother was curious who’s texture it would be like. When Cydney was born she cane out with a full head of hair and we just knew it was gonna be on and almost right away lots of combing and pleading that goes along with it.


Even before my fiance passed in my quest to be the greatest dad ever to a little girl I was determined to become her stylist and know how to do hair (my motivation for being her stylist is because I hate shopping and don’t want to be in a store all day so do it quickly and well at the same damn time). Well, they have lots of cute stuff for little girls so the styling was the easy part. The hair? Well, it started off easy as Cydney used to pull the sides out so a simple brushing and putting a little bow in. Not so much anymore. To not even be two yet Cydney has a lot of hair. I’m still just a novice and of course if I don’t do it it doesn’t get done. The texture of her hair is a combination of her mother’s and mine. My fiance was black but there were rumors that her father was Puerto Rican and the curly thin hair (and complexion) were the dead giveaways. Mine is very thick but its curly and fine. While I am relieved that Cydney has what is colloquially called “good hair” in the black community its still a struggle to do.

My best work

Cydney’s hair is a struggle because while it is manageable to comb parting it is a struggle because its thick. Usually I just part it and put in a few pigtails and call it a day unless I’m feeling creative or we have to go somewhere. I keep it simple because due to her texture I have to do it every day because it won’t stay overnight and I can’t just let her wear it out. Then of course there is the struggle of her letting me DO the hair. Hair time theoretically takes about 5 minutes to do but preparation, chasing, getting toys and snacks so she sits still it usually takes a full episode of Dora. While that may not be long to some parents please remember: its eternity to me. In raising someone of color I have to teach her to be proud of who she is. In many ways in life she’s not going to fit in being one or amongst others of color. I say that because I know how amongst each other some view light skinned and “good hair” or may think and say you’re not black enough because you don’t have natural kinky hair and all of the other things and stories I’ve seen firsthand from my sister and heard from my fiance. So while her hair may be unique its because she is unique. Being that I am her father she will also be equipped with plenty of insults and one liners to sling for those who do have something to say.

2 thoughts on “The Hair Struggle

  1. We (very luckily) do not have the same struggle with hair that you do. However, the identity thing we can very much identify with. My husband is part Jamaican, Chinese, Irish, British and Scottish. I’m..well I’m white. Canadian. Maybe a touch of German. Olivia therefore is part Asian, part Black and part White.
    My husband has identified that when he was growing up identity was hard for him. Its hard to know who you are when you are such a mixture. Thankfully, Olivia will know her past. She will know her history!
    I think your doing a great job with Cydney! She will learn and grow and inspire!
    And no offense, but I’m glad you have the hair struggle and not me! My husband has (excuse me for saying this) “black people” hair. Its nappy and hard to work with. Olivia THANK GOODNESS has white people hair. I can run a comb through it. Granted, its extremely wild.


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