Hungover

Honestly after all the fanfare and revelry of counting down to midnight and the start of another year generally the morning (or afternoon) of January 1 feels like a regular day minus having to go to work and in many cases hungover. I actually feel hungover, but not from drinking or the sleep depravity. This morning is very quiet and everything around me feels peaceful except internally. Not that there are any problems in my life at the current time its just a morning of reflection more or less.

There’s a lot to do and accomplish this year and honestly I don’t know what that is. Pretty much since I turned 23 my adult life has been one large hustle to make lots of things happen. I’m a very spiritual person and believe that lots of who I used to be needed to be broken down and transformed. Like gold, in order to shine must go through the fire. Once it goes through the fire it must harden. That requires just sitting there and waiting. That’s exactly where I am right now.

Sitting and waiting is extremely hard when you’re used to making the impossible happen almost every day. It’s especially difficult as a single parent. There’s someone constantly taking from you and whether they realize it or not they’re counting on you to always make things happen and give them what they want and what they need. Like me, my little girl is very assertive and makes it crystal clear what she wants. There is no waiting period its all about right now for her.

At the end of the day, we both have to wait. And while she is very young I guess this period somehow will be engrained in her and is the beginning of learning patience. That’s a good thing.