I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who is also a single parent. They were telling me about someone they had been dealing with for a couple months and I asked are they ready to meet the little one. Their reply was maybe. I asked “What was the criteria on you letting someone meet your kid?” As I asked it, I was kinda asking myself.
There are some who say yes its a good thing to do up front and who isn’t. I say it all depends. I have taken Cydney with me on a date or two due to circumstances but nothing more than that. I actually kinda like Cydney being around because she’s a great judge of character. She usually gets someone I’m digging a little bit verses I’m just trying something out. She knows who are just the friends and who is someone who I’m really good friends with.
Does everyone meet Cydney? Absolutely not. Cydney is by far my most prized possession and while I do share her with the world there’s a difference between what I share externally and when I do internally. Bringing her around on a intimate setting is something else.
Of course the questions arouse if Cydney gets attached and it doesn’t work out. Well, once again it all depends. If I think it’ll end amicably and we can still be friends after I will. Plus, she’s two. She won’t remember them and when its time for her to date they’ll become a story to tell I call “The Ballad of (insert name).” But that’s just me. This could and probably will change the older Cydney and I get.
The meeting kids thing is different for men and women. Yes, men tend to use being single parents to their advantage to get attention but I don’t have to. You want to know about me as a father I have a whole blog about it. With women its more of an emotional experience that makes the bond closer and even harder to separate from someone who shows love to your little one. Whether you’re the male or female, it does make you feel a certain way when someone who has no obligation to yours genuinely loves them.
Sometimes you hit it off instantly, sometimes you meet that person somewhere and you have your child. Life is like that. Many times our children are our private lives and letting one in means letting down your biggest wall with the barbed wire and all that. They’re your heart and soul and bearing that early can potentially have adverse consequences. If you can handle it, then go forth. But really think and weigh the pros and cons before you do.
2 thoughts on “Meeting the Kids: A Dating Piece”
Speaking as someone who grew up with a single parent who was always dating- it sucks. You’re right, while she’s young and won’t remember it’s OK, but once she starts getting older (4/5) you want to be very careful. I grew very attached to 2 of my moms bfs and didn’t understand when they went away. As I got older, I became an evil little bitch and scared off most of my moms bfs lol. So you def want to try to settle down before she learns the power she holds over you 😉
You’re absolutely right!