Hitting vs Not Hitting is always a touchy subject. Some believe in it and some don’t for various reasons. Some don’t want to hurt their children’s feelings and others want to teach that there are consequences for unacceptable behavior. I do believe in it within moderation. When I grew up I only caught it when I did something like go to the principal’s office or lied a little too much. My motivation to do right (or get away with as much as possible) I in school, church, or wherever was to go the year without getting a beating. Usually around April I did as well as I could and something happened and the inevitable would go down.
Cydney is much younger and is a free spirit who does as she pleases. She needs regulation. That comes in the form of a slight pop in the legs and that’s when she doesn’t do as told various times in public or says no repeatedly and blatantly disrespects. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. When she gets popped she yells in a playful manner “Owwwwwww!” and then laughs. What does work is the taking away of something in which the tears flow and the yelling from hurt feelings ensue.
I guess it depends on the child’s temperament. While my method doesn’t work it was time to try something else. Eventually such it will work as she gets older but once again that is under extreme circumstances. There won’t be a Penny from Good Times situation but its a tried and true. I think my trying to constantly avoid the what was perceived worst things to happen shaped my personality to constantly be the voice of reason amongst my friends and try to get into as little trouble as possible. Eventually that evolved to me learning how to operate under the radar and gauge how to make decisions in my favor with as little consequences as possible.
But that’s me. I can try my best to teach my child who is similar to me how to act and operate. Then again, she could be a different kind of child which would require revaluation and a different plan of action.
One thought on “The Discipline Controversy”
wow man… discipline is certainly a difficult thing, especially with a 2 year old. Many people believe in physical punishment as they believe it to be a method of conditioning and a way of associating bad behavior with physical impact. That’s not completely true… the best thing to do with a child is decisive simple action… they lose privileges, the “timeout” method…(even with hyperactive children, this is possible), and the biggest thing of all is switching tone and body language when going from play to discipline. At first the child will not pick up on it and WILL test you, but when they realize you are serious, and there are consequences everything changes. Part of that test involves laughing, crying, screaming, pulling, running away etc…
The biggest thing when you switch to discipline mode is to be clear, assertive and direct. When that new mode comes in she won’t know what hit her and at first she might be a bit confused but when you continue forward and explain to her what is going to happen then she will get the picture. Of course with discipline also comes the opposite… rewarding good behavior. So if she makes a better decision the next time you reward it, and reward it well.
Keep up the good work Chad. It will all pay off in the end.