Life throws all kinds of curveballs. We’re told at an early age to put our best foot forward and eventually things will work out. The road to things working out is littered with potholes, jaywalkers, fallen trees, and its a dark road so you can’t see any of these things. You live and you learn.
Almost none of us have expected our lives to have turned out the way that they have, Twelve years ago in high school, I’m sure my best friend I was on the football team with, ran the hallways, and started a rap group with would think that before thirty we’d both be single fathers via divorce and loss. I know a mother or two who would say that they would have never thought their high school sweetheart would be an asshole after all they’d been through. We just about all have traumatizing stories and baggage from broken hearts.
My friends who have recently or are currently going through some form of emotional PTSD talk to me as someone to relate to in this manner. I guess I make moving on seem easy. Even with dating, I try to keep this in mind that they have probably recently been through something similar. Honestly, I haven’t dealt with heartbreak in quite some time. I’ve broken Timile’s heart a time or two and she’s done the same. Even that was three and four years ago. Time has passed since then. With that said, my last relationship was a success. Tragic, yes. But there was no bitter breakup or even ending things amicably because we just didn’t fit. I can just give advice on finding good distractions, being resilient, and acceptance through tragedy because at the end of the day a broken heart is just that: tragic.
I know my friend won’t admit it about his divorce, but he’s upset that he’s had to go through it. No matter who I know that goes through it, I’m a parent; so I always think about these things in terms of having to deal with my daughter when she experiences it. I’d be an idiot to not do otherwise. Cydney getting her heart broken is as sure as one day I will die. My first thought is how gangsta my daughter will be. Because she has me, she will be thoroughly educated on how men are, how the game works, and how to eliminate as many jerks as possible. There will be a bad Valentine’s Day or two (That guy will have HELL to pay for ruining her birthday… I cannot stress this enough!), but she’ll be schooled how to “thug” her way through it.
She’s a cute kid, and genetics suggest that she will be a beautiful girl with many suitors. There will be a time where she will not want to listen to me because she will think she’s grown and I don’t know anything. But, all experiences that I’ve been through personally and have been told will all be used to educate somehow someway.
What if she’s that girl whose high school or college love she marries and he has other kids while they’re married or something else (Well, other than the obvious that man will be sweating bullets about me)? Love her through it. When Timile broke my heart a few years ago, I loved her through it and she figured out that nothing was better for her than me. I was patient enough to show her. However, there aren’t too many stories like Timile’s and mine. Probability suggests that there will be periods of complacency, lies, and all’at. The one thing I can tell her whether or not I ever go through heartbreak again is that time heals all wounds. However, don’t rely heavily on time. Make your own fate and speed up that process with acceptance, knowing the next one won’t be like the last, adapt, and keep an open mind.
That I’ve done recently.
Single Dadventures 