I love the internet and all of its subjectivity. Social media allows us all to read whatever we want and share whatever we want displaying the parts of our identities we ultimately want to believe about ourselves. Very eloquently, Leonard Mlodinow explained this concept in his book Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior. He states that one’s brain is part scientist and part lawyer; but it is much better at being the latter than the former. What he means is that we all have an ideal sense of self and will look for all of the evidence to convince ourselves that it is true. In other words, we become who we think we are.
Last night, my friend Keya shared via Facebook an article from Thought Catalog entitled Ten Reasons Why he Best Relationship of Your Life Will Be With a Girl Who ‘Loves Too Much.’ It was a well-written piece. However, the writer/cynic in me saw it as a piece in which an ideal that was written for women to relate to and of course, post repeatedly. There’s nothing wrong with this. Nonetheless, the woman that was described was nothing short of a unicorn. There’s a yin to every yan that gives balance. So as a guy, I’m going to point the tidbits that jumped out to me effortlessly.
FOR THE RECORD: I personally love this kind of woman. For every quality we love about people are also roots for the things we cannot stand. BOTH contribute to the charms that we love about them.
1. She will bring incredible positivity to your life…And for all of the positivity means taking everything to heart which leads to drama.
Loving hard means being emotional. Being emotional means that one [usually] has a very high emotional IQ. Having heightened senses means said person very sensitive. Emotions and logic are oil and water. That is why we have two sides to regulate the other. In the heat of the moment, shit can and will get very real.
2. She will get you over any past relationship, hurt, or trust issue…But she won’t be over hers.
Generally speaking, we all give advice that we don’t necessarily adhere to. When others do it, we call it being hypocritical. When we do it, it’s called “being human.” Classic case of the brain pulling a “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit” on ourselves.
3. She will show you what love really feels like…And love suffers long.
The biblical definition of love starts off with “Love suffers long.” In other words, love means putting up with someone’s shit. We put up with someone’s shit because they suffer through ours. It’s a perpetual circumstance that makes us all appreciate others.
4. She will never let you feel empty…And will let you KNOW when she feels empty.
People who love too much are very self-aware. They are very in-tune with their feelings and can articulate it to a tee. Because being emotional is an “in the moment” kind of thing, one must express their unhappiness while they are feeling that way…otherwise they will burst at the seams. This isn’t even including all of the times they have talked everything out with their friends and the proverbial battery has been put into their back, WITHOUT consorting with the person first (a top three killer of relationships).
5. She will teach you forgiveness…and not forget a damn thing you’ve done.
You must forgive and forget…but they won’t. In a period of happiness and tranquility, there will be “I think it’s funny that…”
6. She will be fiercely loyal to you…for a price.
Loyalty always costs. State Farm will be there like a good neighbor because you pay them to do so. Said contracts and bonds between two parties have all kinds of clauses that are steeped in double-standards that benefit both. You can’t flirt but she can and when it’s called out, you get the “So what?!” But those same caveats work in their parnter’s favors in other ways.
The author states that “She will value you, so much that she would never do anything to hurt you.” I couldn’t help but laugh at this. Nobody on earth will hurt you or disappoint you more than your spouse will; quantitatively and qualitatively. It goes both ways.
7. She’ll open your heart to emotions…HER emotions and there will be many of those.
Respond to them the wrong way and there WILL be a “talk.” No man ever likes “the talk.” Said dialog is really a monologue in which must respond correctly because their mind is made up on what one should say or there will be a fight because their feelings are hurt. The problem with this is that there are expectations which means one can’t think from an objective point of view.
8. She’s going to fight with you and more importantly, for you…and she will fight YOU.
9. She will always choose to work through problems rather than walk away…Working through=Her way or no way.
Sometimes she will humor you and give the illusion to make you think they’ll try it your way. However, the game is rigged and it will ultimately fail so that they can say they were right and you must forever do things their way.
10. She’ll love your darkest places…and will use them against you.
There was a Kevin Hart bit in which he said that worst thing a man can say is calling a woman the “b” word; but she will cut so deep just to hurt your pride (“Yeah, whatever, you pissing in the bed ass boy…BOOYAW! Right in front of your mom [on Christmas].”). Accurate. If she’s pregnant, multiply that by infinity and then raise it to the infinity power…there may be a reduction to this; but what’s the square root of infinity? Infinity.
I say this all in love and humor…but I did run this by a few who “love too much” for validity.