Single Parenting: Taking My Daughter on a Job Interview

I’ve been going through a transition over the last few months.  I was let go from my last job about four months ago due to cutback(s).  I always thought of the job as temporary and had been applying to jobs in New York and DC for quite some time, but I got beat even though I saw the writing on the wall.  It’s hard to find a job nowadays and while there are plenty jobs here in New York, it’s very difficult to get one.  For every position you apply for, a few hundred are; not to mention that you’re competing with the rest of the country with all of the people who would love to relocate, and live the dream of in the media capital of the world.  That’s just one of the facets that makes the adage “If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere” true.

Since I started writing this blog and it’s taken off and opening up doors, I figured that transitioning from project management and music to public relations would make perfect sense.  Last week I got a call for an interview at a firm in the SoHo area of Manhattan.  It was on a Thursday at 11:30 AM.  Since Cydney stays at home with me and most individuals are working at this time of day I needed a babysitter.  I contacted a friend of mine who is a freelance writer if they could watch Cydney for an hour or so while I went on the interview.  They said they would be happy to do so.  Wednesday evening, they sent me a text saying that at the last minute they had to come in Thursday morning for a mandatory meeting.  This had put me in a bind because I didn’t have anyone I could call at the last minute.  They still tried to see what they could do and make it work.  By midnight, they were told that the meeting was moved from 12:30 to 10 AM and that they could not watch her at all.  I wasn’t upset.  It happens.  I just told them I’ll bring Cydney with me on the interview.  Yes, it’s a little unprofessional and could have adverse affects on the likeliness of me getting the position.  But I’m a gambling man and believe in taking calculated risks: it’s how I’ve received just about anything in life I’ve considered and coveted as special.

So Cydney and I walk into the office and Cydney is greeted with smiling faces who are engaging her.  I apologized for bringing her along to the office manager that I would be interviewing with.  She said it was okay and she unerstood because she has a two year old daughter.  Good sign.  I brought Cydney into the office with me where I was being interviewed.  I gave her a notepad and some crayola markers that my mother had supplied to keep her occupied and “do homework.”  A minute into drawing in her notepad, Cydney felt the urge to make the desk that we were sitting at her canvas.  The manager laughed and said “It’s okay.  Thank God for washable markers.”  We laughed and continued our meeting.  While speaking candidly about my qualifications, I was keeping an eye on my daughter.  Cydney is full of personality so if you don’t like her, there’s something wrong with you or you just don’t like kids so I think she added an extra charm to the interview.

When the interview ended, Cydney went with the office manager to meet everyone around the office as she went to get paper towels to clean off the desk.  By the time they returned, I already wiped off the desk with baby wipes and it looked like we were never there.  Cydney had a plush dog that she was playing with within those two minutes she was gone and the manager said she could have it.  Everyone said goodbye to her and she waved back.  An hour later, the manager sent me an email confirming a second interview and also put in there that it was a pleasure to meet Cydney.  I think it worked out pretty well.

With risk comes reward.  My experiences over the last three years have made me fearless.  My logic is that by the time I turned twenty-six, I’ve gone through what will probably be the hardest things I will endure in life.  Everything else: working, trying to make ends meet, relationships, family, you name it will not be as hard so fuck it.  Even if I fail, get fired, get my heart broken or whatever the laws of probability say it can’t be as bad as where I’ve been.  The people who are publicly considered successful have a similar lack of fear. 

For all of my friends and readers who are not parents: this is what being a parent is all about.  Strapping up your boots and making things happen.  For my readers who aren’t single parents: this is everyday.  People can or may flake out for many justified reasons and sometimes just because people suck; but that doesn’t stop the show.  You have to carry the load of two people.  Many times it can seem like a disadvantage and some people may be hesitant to be around you because of negative stigmas attached to being one.  Single moms have a harder job, but due to their wiring and social norms get a little more leeway in showing some emotion in general and in front of their children when things get sticky.  For me, there’s no time for any of that.  Just keep it moving with a smile and when my kid is old enough to understand let her know what I’ve had to do to make things happen.